I’ll Never Know What You Find When You Open Up Your Pizza Box Tomorrow

Well we did it. We went in, got a bunch of boxes, and got out. We traveled through cake eater territory, and made it out alive. What follows are the experiences that followed.

It seemed like there were nine boxes, all stacked up, filling the front passenger seat. I squirmed in underneath, and held my breath. The windows fogged up almost immediately, visibility was down to nil. I think I passed out during the trip back, but there was the faint sound of Italian music when I woke up at home.

We learned some things at Pizza Club this time, things that we’d like to share with everyone. The establishment which fulfilled our take out order, was called Broder’s. You may have heard of it, it’s near the center of Cakeeateropolis. We ordered four different Pizzas, three fancy pants specialty Pizzas with vegetables and other nonsense, and one classic pepperoni and sausage. I believe eating them at the restaurant would have increased the pleasure of the Pizza, as it had cooled some by the time it arrived home. The fact however, is this: We ordered pepperoni and sausage, and we got pepperoni and hamburger. The pepperoni was too thick, and the hamburger was just that, ground meat with no spice. This is unacceptable by the means of ANY club, Pizza or otherwise.

It’s possible that my loathing of the Cake Eater experience sullied an otherwise average Pizza consuming event, but I felt like this was the worst showing of any of the Pizza establishments that we’d visited. Soggy crust, cake eater toppings, and hamburger instead of sausage. Fortunately for everyone involved, there were adult beverages in abundance, so the lacking quality of the Pizza was soon the last on everyone’s list.

Of course there was Guitar Hero. Of course most people sucked at it. Adro and I put down some tasty jams, but there was some serious lack of effort from Philtheo and Scooter. They’re just not creative though, and when they’d play, their fingers looked like they jammed them in a food processor.

After the Pizza, we were drunk enough to play a game of Adro’s suggestion, though it was not “Who’s in my mouth.” It perhaps had a name, and it may have been called Mafia, or Townspeople, or “Here’s a card and shut your face.” Feel free to look it up. I had the privilege of being killed either first or second, in nearly every game. There was one round in which one of the Members, perhaps had a little too much to drink, and upon being requested to open their eyes a few times, giggled and said, “I DID OPEN MY EYES.” Sadly, they weren’t killed in the first round.

All in all, the Pizza was lackluster, and some would say, bad. Fortunately, the Club pulled through, and I believe everyone went home satisfied.

We’d like to welcome one of the newcomers, Matt, aka Matty, aka Trixie.

Pizza Club Minutes:

(some time): beer, wine, Guitar Hero

(some other time): beer, wine, Pizza

(later): beer, wine, Mafia